The kids and I have been sick the past few days. It stinks. I started putting essential oils on the kids' feet before bed so they regularly stick their feet in my face and request that I put oil on their feet. I think the kids like it because it's a chance to bond with mommy and it gives us a chance to switch things up a bit. It brings me back to Jesus washing the disciples' feet. There is something very humbling about washing another person's feet. If that makes any sense.
I was downstairs in the living room and Kevin was upstairs with the kids on Saturday night. I yelled, "I love you" to Bryce and he yelled back, "I love you mama!" I totally wasn't expecting it because he's never said it before. Talk about melting my heart. Kayla says it more often now. She prefers, "I lub you!" It doesn't matter to me. It's still cute.
They are connecting and understanding more words now. For example, "Daddy coming home?", "Going to get mail", "I see you mama!", "Daddy work", and "Butt owie" (diaper rash - Kayla did this today.) They understand when I say we're going to the store or somewhere so they'll go and get their shoes on. I told them today that we were going to the chiropractor and Kayla actually said, "chiropractor" or something very similar.
One thing I have learned is that in order to keep tantrums at bay, I let them help me whenever I can. They LOVE to help. It may take a little longer to do something, but they are learning and not fighting. When I do dishes, I generally hand them silverware or plates to put in the dishwasher and that goes over pretty well. They like to help dump ingredients into a bowl when I'm baking. I handed Bryce a spoon and he put leftovers into a container last night. They especially like to help with laundry. I'll often put the laundry basket in front of the washer (thank goodness for front loaders) and one of them will grab some clothes out of the basket and hand it to the other one to put in the washer. They'll do the same for the dryer too. We went to the dollar store and got each of them a broom and Kevin cut it to about their height so now they sweep the floor with me. :)
Lately, we've been struggling with a couple of things - throwing things on the floor out of frustration or just because, and manners at the kitchen table. Kayla screams/cries when things don't go her way - she gets a pink (you name it) and she wanted blue or she wanted to turn on the light, so she will scream for close to an hour in rebellion. Kevin and I try not to give in, but that's pretty hard. She was screaming in the car one day because we didn't let her buckle her seatbelt (we were in a hurry) and Bryce said, "enough" and "stop Lala". Her screaming is a big challenge for us right now. It is just so often and neither of us know what to do about it and we're about to the end of our rope.
We have chosen not to spank our kids (not that we're against people who do.) I believe that every child responds to different discipline. We have had our fair share of spanking and raising voices but it just scared them and made them start crying, so we searched for something else. We recently started a "recovery time" (where they are in the same room but off to the side) when they start hitting, biting, screaming, etc. and that seems to work. I hate to call it time out because people have made it out to be something negative. We use it as a time for them to recover and gather their emotions and thoughts before returning to where they were. We have tried a number of other things and so far, this seems to be working the best. When they get older, I'll have them do what my mom used to have me do...write their thoughts out on paper. It's a good way to make them better at writing, too!
This parenting stuff isn't easy at all. It truly is the toughest job in the world. Sometimes, when I get on to them for something, I tell them, "Mommy and Daddy have rules and we know what is best for you. I would rather you learn these lessons and be mad at me now than to have to learn these lessons the hard way as an adult." Not only does it explain things to them, but it reassures me that I'm doing the right thing. Discipline is hard. It's hard to see your child cry because they aren't getting everything they want. Sometimes, envisioning them at 21 years old redirects my focus to our goal: raising honest, well-mannered, helpful, hardworking Christians who will be able to positively influence society. This really is the toughest job in the world.
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